Just let go

I'm often surprised at my uncanny ability to ignore valuable corrections. I can see the importance in the corrections and I want to take the advice but many times I don't. I've been thinking about why I do this and it occurred to me that I am overly focused on something else. In last Thursday's class I was working on Koto Gaeshi Kata 6-10 with Sensei Coleman. He made a minor correction to start the grab from the elbow and not the wrist. Four corrections later, I had not accurately made the adjustment once. But why? I only realized several days later that I tend to hold onto my successes as hard as I can. I had learned the footwork and I didn't want to get confused. The footwork required so much of my attention that I couldn't do both. So I would acknowledge the correction, finish my technique, start over and forget the correction! My method was not yielding the kinds of results that I needed.

After the fact, I'm able to realize that when faced with criticism, and when I can only select one; I choose to focus on preventing greater mistakes which would generate greater criticism rather than correcting that which is obviously flawed. Though this is the first time I evaluate this decision on a conscious level, I am pretty sure that this is a life choice which I make on and off the mat.

Within the greater scheme of life, it's a decision that works. It has a clear-cut and functional role in the act of "maintaining". The problem here is that I wasn't trying to maintain a skill which I had already mastered, I was trying to learn a new skill. My approach needs to be entirely different for each task. Though it may sound obvious to you now, it didn't occur to me in the moment! The solution seems counter intuitive, but the answer is to just let go. Focus on the correction and if the footwork goes to hell and I need to be corrected again, then so be it.

The wrong time to feel stuck!

With only a few weeks until my Sankyu test, this is the wrong time to feel stuck in a rut. I've spent the past few months focusing on moving my hips forward at all times. But my footwork which was so-so to begin with has gotten much worse. I notice it particularly in my hip throws. I am often not where I need to be and as a result the throw is usually disconjoined or altogether impossible. I also notice that when I'm focusing on my footwork it's usually correct. I can also think back to the individual steps that got me to the throw. With that said, I can determine that if the footsteps that got me to where I am are a total blur, then the footwork was most probably incorrect.

What started off as sensitivity in my wrists has developed into wrist tendinitis in my left wrist and the jury is still out on the right one. I'm going to pick up some wrist guards on the way to dojo tonight because I just can't risk any more damage. Luckily, I heal very quickly so I imagine that in two weeks to a month I'll be back in full swing.


I generally only write about moments of success because writing about problems without solutions almost feels like complaining to the dojo. But the truth is that I've learned a lot from coping with situations that are out of my control and this moment is as valid in my training as any other.