A gentle touch

I've spent the past few years learning that I'm a little too forceful. Often attempting to use force in place of finesse. Often relearning that I can get more out of a situation by being more gentle. The interesting part is that I see it and am motivated to change. On a regular basis, I have to remind myself to slow down. To change things and try again. I control frustration and change my approach.

To see growth in my Ju Jitsu would be exciting on it's own. But the part that amazes me most is how I see it in life. How I am now able to articulate the effects of my actions in a way that I couldn't before. How I consider recourses and solutions in a matter that never seemed like an option. I can see how some people can open doors that seem to be shut. It changes quite a few things. It shows me that I don't just need to get better at a game, I can change the way the game is played.

It almost feels as if I'm an architect with an elaborate plan that is my personality. I know what I want & how to get there, but the magnitude of the task is very large. Every day, I construct and evaluate. Tear down the obstacles. Construct and evaluate. I like that.

Injuries

It's a shame that people outside of those who train in something like this won't be able to understand. But yesterday, I felt as if my injuries (neck muscle & knee) were pretty much healed. I had a chance to stretch and it felt as if I was getting the routine back. Half an hour into the class, I felt like a puppy who has been let out of a cage.

On the team

There are great members of the team & then there are members that make the team great. No matter where you find yourself, it seems that the smart move is to try to switch things up from time to time.

Something new

Endurance training has been pretty weak for me in the last six months. I'm slightly better off than I was 3 months ago, but far worse off than 6 months ago. This really isn't where I want to be (in terms of fitness), but it does provide me with an interesting opportunity. A chance to act!

In the past few months, I've taken to the idea of doing everything uke or ukemi related as fast as I can and not giving myself (or anyone else) a chance to rest. Then as my heart and lungs race to keep up, sometimes all I can hear is the pounding in my head. It is then that I practice the most calm, patient and even bored look that I can put together. It was harder to do in the beginning, but I wonder what people see today. I feel more calm, relaxed and even bored while my body does things that it would do in a state of panic.

I'm not exactly sure where this will benefit me. I can imagine that if I relax my mind, my body will follow suit. I can also imagine that I may one day use this to bluff in a real fight. But for now, I can only tell you that it seems like it would have value somewhere. And it's a fun personal challenge to make use of my current physical condition.

Training

Training for me is a lot like being a child in a toy store. I see all of the fancy things and I want them. The more time I spend there, the more things I want. This in turn, keeps me around for longer and so it is a self fulfilling & positive cycle.

Forcing myself to train when I lack the time & actual energy to do it properly is a lot like being a poor child in a toy store. I still see the same fancy things and I want them just as badly as I always have. But I understand that the investment is greater than what I can afford. So I crave them from a distance with a heavy heart.

Ultimately, I know that I can weather the storm and that this feeling won't last forever. But from this perspective, it's not hard to see why a martial artist might want to be in it all the way or not at all.

Reflecting

I've been at this for a few years now and some moments have given me a larger chance to grow than others. Even in the moments where I didn't feel too much of a change, there was at least incremental growth. Lately, I have only been able to grow achieve this kind of growth. An adjustment here or greater fluidity there. I have not plateaued, but I am stuck. I say this because I realize that I am unwilling to let go of what I think I know in order to learn something else.

I often tell myself to soften up and even try to soften up. But in the back of my mind, I can feel it. I know that if things go sour, I'm going to pump as much strength into that technique as I can to finish it effectively. Clean or ugly, proper or otherwise. And I'm sure that's not altogether a bad thing. If I were in danger and knew only what I know now, it would be the smartest thing to do.

But I also know that this mindset keeps me from getting softer. If a technique goes sour, there is a way to become soft enough to make it work. To actually improve the technique by being softer. I only know that it exists, but I don't really know how to get there. At least not yet.

I'm not sure how I'm going to pull it off. Nor how many reminders I'm going to need! But I think that's a crucial step in my training. It's the next step.

Plateau - revisted

In my last blog about plateaus (Aug, 2008), I was able to distinguish what made a technique effective by understanding how the parts fit into the whole. With that, I figured out what was missing. Since then I've learned to use that as an analytical tool to find the flaws in my technique. Not surprisingly, I adapted it to find flaws in other people's techniques and nowadays I shift my balance or squirm away from them regularly. Sometimes it is to teach them, sometimes to protect myself and almost always to entertain myself! :) Luckily, the three are not mutually exclusive.

I have plateaued again. I find that I often hold onto too many things at once. As a result, I cannot process information fast enough. So, this time around I've learned that my most useful tool is to let everything else go. If I am consistently unable to correct my posture, then I will make that my point of focus in the next turn. Often this will translate into the temporary lessening of another skill. Occasionally it will render the entire technique ineffective and it will leave me in a compromising position. This is an acceptable loss.

When I find myself in that situation, I then do the exact opposite. That is when I hold onto my training as tightly as possible. I focus on as many things as possible and I do something (anything) to get out of that bind.


I can't explain why, but this feels like it will be paramount in my training. I think it is a good idea to be able to let everything go - even your strengths - when they are holding you back. I also think that it is good practice to attempt to put it all back together as quickly as possible.